1994-2010

What happened to February?

And what happened to Abe's car?*

They were stolen. February must have been, because nothing else explains how it snuck away without me noticing.

And Abe's car most definitely was stolen - and stripped - of the back seat, doors, side panels, hood, battery, steering wheel, stick shift, floor mats, stereo, instrument panel (I'm particularly sad about that part, because somehow there was a dead bee inside the odometer. I always liked that dead bee.)... We woke up at 8 am this morning to a call from police dispatch, telling us they had found our abandoned car -- which we had definitely not abandoned. Ugh, Thieves, are you serious?! Do you really have no respect for peoples' Monday mornings? I woke up thinking the only thing I had to dread was work -- but only because I didn't know that you stole our car.

What did you even need our car for? It was not that special, except to us, because it used to belong to Ben Depp, who is famous for being my brother-in-law and a photojournalist in Haiti. You picked on our poor car because it was easy prey. Abe wasn't surprised by the police dispatch - apparently, p.o.s. hondas are a hot item. When he had some issues with the ignition contact a few months ago, a friend taught him how to start his particular honda using only a regular old screwdriver.

Well, screw you, car thief. Go to jail.



*Abe insists that I tell you his car was called Green Jellybean. Sorry, Ben, I know you probably find that humiliating.