Saturday, March 6, 2010

Can I call you Tribulation?

This has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. On Monday, Abe's car was stolen, along with a good half of my sanity. And Tuesday, our contract on the fantasy dream house fell through. I became a total monster. I told Abe that, given the week's track record, I didn't even want to wake up on Wednesday - and that turned out to be the day I heard one of my clients has been trying to spread lesbian rumors about me (a story for another day). Awesome.

As much as those events totally sucked, it was my reactions to them that made this week so rough. I realize that I haven't acted like I believe in a God who promises helping grace (Hebrews 4:16) and kindness and mercy (Ephesians 2:4-7). And I'm not sure I've really believed in a loving God since the earthquake in Haiti (where my sister and her husband live). In church the week after the earthquake, I cried instead of singing. All around me, people were lifting their hands to a song that praised God for being powerful enough to move the mountains. The only thing I could think of were the people crushed under weight of those mountains when the earthquake hit. And then they sang "Blessed be the name of the Lord," and I cried out in my heart, because I don't know how to choose to bless God's name when he takes away everything.

I hope that God will teach me.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)