Thursday, July 2, 2009

"Just Relax. This Won't Hurt."

Well, I'm "back."

And with chiropractic news, so that pun was most definitely intended. On Tuesday, my back hurt so badly that at one point I threw up, and at another point I may have told my husband that I "just wanted to die." Yes, when it comes to pain, I am spineless. But now I have an excuse!

Abe tucked me in on the living room floor, and tried to keep me company while I writhed there in pain (Someone please give the man a medal. He was trying so hard to be nearby and comforting, but I was Highly Unreasonable and kept changing positions as I rolled around on the floor in an effort to alleviate the pain. Every time I moved, he was in the way, so I think he was relieved to have an excuse to leave when I needed something to puke in. That, friends, is Love). At 3:00, Abe's chiropractor's office opened, so Abe picked out some clothes (that is Really Love) and took me over. There, I was dressed in a gown, felt up the back, and body slammed by the good doctor. (Do I get extra pity points if I mention he outweighed me by probably 100 lbs?) The doctor found a sprain in my back, which was causing the pain, and discovered from my x-rays that my back is broke.*

(Abe called me Evil Knievel, and then called all his siblings to brag about how tough his woman is: backpacking and kayaking with a broken spine! I can't exactly take this credit, because I had no idea. Also, it's been broken for a long enough time to make my pelvis grow lopsided to compensate. Someday, when I'm feeling especially meek, I may even tell you the embarrassing story of how my back break might have happened. Maybe tomorrow.)

*This is now a good excuse for all sorts of things. "No, you client who can't stop complaining or getting on my nerves, I cannot go on a walk with you, because my back is broken." "Abe, can you please wash the dishes/get me an ice pack/make the bed? It's just that my back is broken." "Your power over me is broken, exercise DVD collecting dust in the corner! I can have nothing to do with you, what with my back being broken."


  1. Karen my good friend, my guess is you broke it cliff jumping or playing monopoly. Am I warm?

  2. getting warmer, from what I read on your blog :-).