Friday, May 8, 2009

My doctor in high school was Dr. Krippner, and he worked for the German embassy. His son was in my grade - his son Jochen, who I was secretly in love with in 6th or 7th grade. With Dr. Krippner, I had very awkard appointments on Thursdays. He was a very good doctor, but that didn't change that I was a teenager in my underwear in front of my classmate's dad. My nerves showed whenever he asked me to walk a straight line across the tile floor (Aside: What was that for? DUI? Was I being tested for a DUI? Because I was there, and I wasn't old enough to drive). I've never again in my life walked as crookedly as I did across that office.

These days, when I see the doctor at Carmel Family Physicians, I walk straight. I have been seen by three of the four unusually attractive female doctors there, and it's been pleasant enough (as pleasant as it gets with anyone who's holding a speculum). Also, none of them are old enough to be my classmate's father (or mother, as the case would be but isn't). But seriously, take another look at those doctors. In particular, notice the significant overall attractiveness gap between the gentlemen and the lady doctors.

So you understand, nice lady doctors, why this is no kind of medical pratice for Abe to go for stripped-in-his-underwear skin cancer checks. I would be happy to recommend J. Byron Walthall Jr., MD, who also appears capable to handle any medical concerns of Abe's Beard. Or this guy, who may date back to the 1900's, making him the world's most deceptively-young-looking doctor.

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