Another day older and deeper in debt

On the most beautiful day ever, I signed my life away to the bank, and Abe and I are now the proud owners of Our Very Own Home... where there is, unfortunately, not yet any internet, so please wait patiently for pictures, and feel free to post congratulations.

Uhaul would be great... actually Wehaul.

Today is packing day. We're celebrating by renting ourselves a uhaul, which turns out to be (a) cheaper than paying for gas in all of our friends' trucks (b) more convenient than driving back and forth across town all day, and (c) easily accomplished online.

And tomorrow is closing!

So you understand, then, that I am much too busy to blog. Unlike Franc, I'm not quite ready for the big move.

Spring fling

I wanted to take this slowly, because I've been hurt before. But spring came, and I couldn't wait any longer. Please meet my potential new daffodils in the potential new yard of my potential new house.

It Could Happen To You :: Three Short Stories About Buying a Home

One
It was Sunday night, and we had an online meeting with our realtor. We were tired, so we took the laptop into the bedroom and sat on the bed. We logged in to his meeting program, and watched his mouse all over the screen as we talked through details of an offer we were making on a property. I was sitting with one leg tucked beneath me, and realized my foot was falling asleep. I leaned back to move my leg, and fell out of bed.

Online meetings are hazardous.

Two
We had some paperwork to take to the bank regarding our home loan. I remembered to take my W2's from 2008, my last pay stub, and even my glasses. We pulled up at the bank, parked, and walked in. I don't remember who noticed first, Abe or I. "That's weird. They must have redecorated." I turned around, looking for something familiar. "Abe. We're in the wrong bank."

Someone had already approached us. "Welcome to Wachovia!" We made a hasty retreat, got back in the car, and drove 25 feet to the bank we intended.

Three
Buying a house has made me obsessed with home decorating magazines. At work, we have about 8 months of old 'Better Homes and Gardens' magazines (which should come with a warning: These products and remodels cost more than the home you're buying, Karen. Put the magazine down.). I have read all of them.

In August 2009, I came across this idiotic tip (p. 83). "A teacup or dipping bowl makes a pretty organizer on a desk, dresser, or nightstand. Check your cupboards - even a small, ceramic pet-food dish you no longer use can work." Clearly, the person with that idea has never met a pet, or at least has never met pets like mine. Given half a chance, Franc and Kina will chew the tops off the q-tips, the elastics for my hair, and the rubber bands we keep in the kitchen. Pets don't need an invitation - like putting it in their bowl - to eat your stuff. And unless you plan to spend your money on the interior of your cat, instead of your home, I suggest you organize your office supplies in a container with a lid.

Let's hear it for the weekend. Louder!

Right now it's cold as the rockies. I know for a fact, because we stored Abe's Coors Light on the porch. We're fine, though, because we've got Abe's love of Avatar to keep us warm. (That's serious. Here's how conversations have gone in our house since we saw it in 3D at the Imax: Do you want to drive, or should I? "I'll drive. Like Avatar!" Wow, it's as cold as the rockies out here! "Is it? I didn't notice, because Avatar!")

We also have Abe's cold and a trial subscription to Netflix, so we've holed up most of the weekend. If you haven't already, I recommend you watch Food, Inc. Please clean your pantry and refrigerator first, though, or you may end up throwing away a lot of industrially-produced, over-processed foods, and then go broke at the nearest EarthFare or farmer's market.

I may now be a vegetarian, except for corn. No corn.

Also, we looked at houses today. Here are my two best stories: (1) One house had a pet door in the garage that I peeped in, until I realized there could be an oppossum in there, waiting to bite me. So I made Abe look. (2) Another house had all the windows broken, most importantly the window on the ground floor in the back. If I were only a tiny bit stupider, I would have climbed in for a convenient showing. But I was afraid of being arrested, meeting an opposum, or bleeding on my new carpet.

Here's what I think of house hunting so far: (1) If you're thinking about buying, first go to your local bookstore and pick up a copy of Nolo's Essential Guide to Buying Your First Home. It's got lots of good advice, and also anecdotal accounts of other peoples' experiences, which is almost as good as pictures. (2) Are we there yet? There are so many steps! We need to find out if someone will even give us a mortgage, for one thing (does it count against us that when they trusted us with cats, we almost let one die by an earplug overdose?). And we need to find out if all of the houses in Charlotte for sale are a good deal, with a good yard, in a good neighborhood, with a good pet door that will keep out oppossums. Maybe I should make a spreadsheet for that.