this would be funny, butt...

only funny to you. I'm not laughing. That's why it's a present to help you get over my absence.

Tonight, a volunteer group came to NYMMH to throw a party for our residents who've recently celebrated birthdays. They made jewelry, ate cupcakes, spilled juice everywhere, and had a truly talented balloon artist who made elaborate balloon hats, animals, and weapons (don't ask me, I didn't hire him. Also, a number of small boys were demanding swords).

All in all, it was a good time. And then, one of my residents motioned me over. With this woman, everything is an emergency, so I was sure she was going to tell me she needed to use the phone, or had to have a tylenol. Instead, she motioned me closer. "Ms. Karen, the balloon man keeps looking at your butt."

Shake it..

Shake that healthy butt!

Let's hear it for the weekend. Louder!

Right now it's cold as the rockies. I know for a fact, because we stored Abe's Coors Light on the porch. We're fine, though, because we've got Abe's love of Avatar to keep us warm. (That's serious. Here's how conversations have gone in our house since we saw it in 3D at the Imax: Do you want to drive, or should I? "I'll drive. Like Avatar!" Wow, it's as cold as the rockies out here! "Is it? I didn't notice, because Avatar!")

We also have Abe's cold and a trial subscription to Netflix, so we've holed up most of the weekend. If you haven't already, I recommend you watch Food, Inc. Please clean your pantry and refrigerator first, though, or you may end up throwing away a lot of industrially-produced, over-processed foods, and then go broke at the nearest EarthFare or farmer's market.

I may now be a vegetarian, except for corn. No corn.

Also, we looked at houses today. Here are my two best stories: (1) One house had a pet door in the garage that I peeped in, until I realized there could be an oppossum in there, waiting to bite me. So I made Abe look. (2) Another house had all the windows broken, most importantly the window on the ground floor in the back. If I were only a tiny bit stupider, I would have climbed in for a convenient showing. But I was afraid of being arrested, meeting an opposum, or bleeding on my new carpet.

Here's what I think of house hunting so far: (1) If you're thinking about buying, first go to your local bookstore and pick up a copy of Nolo's Essential Guide to Buying Your First Home. It's got lots of good advice, and also anecdotal accounts of other peoples' experiences, which is almost as good as pictures. (2) Are we there yet? There are so many steps! We need to find out if someone will even give us a mortgage, for one thing (does it count against us that when they trusted us with cats, we almost let one die by an earplug overdose?). And we need to find out if all of the houses in Charlotte for sale are a good deal, with a good yard, in a good neighborhood, with a good pet door that will keep out oppossums. Maybe I should make a spreadsheet for that.